The anatomy of grief

We all deal with it in different ways. Some become cold and hard and shun the world around them, somehow blaming it for what has happened. A defensive shield goes up and shuts every other person out, and a fall into a deep dark whirlpool that seems endless and unrelenting follows. It's a darkness that you don't even want to get out of because it's safer to be in there than to face the world. Silence goes from being deafening to feeling like a warm blanket that shelters you against the cold dreary world outside. A cocoon of protection away from all the turmoil and madness. On the other side there are those of us who take shelter in denial. This denial can take many forms . One can deny the occurence of the event, very juvenile. To deny the event has any effect on ones life is another way. A little less juvenile but still quite adolescent. And finally one just denies the depth of grief that just hit them like a runaway train. To hide behind a smile is very hard but sometimes its the only thing a person can do. You have given yourself the responsibility of holding everyone together. Some say you don't need to, others, you wish they would say that. You try to smile for others but in the deep dark of night, the house of cards you've built falls apart and the cold sets in.