Sunday, April 6, 2014

A Dedication to Excellence

You are where you wanted to be all those years ago.
Thank you for indulging our selfishness and staying with us, making us who we are today.
You were the corner stone of the lives of your children and grandchildren,the unending source of love that kept us strong and made us able to face anything this world can throw at us.
"Nao faças caso!" "Tu es forte".
Simple words that brought down the walls of fear, self doubt and weakness.
It built foundations of confidence, self worth and most of all daring.
The foundation that will help lead us to do things that, without her,would have eluded the boundaries of our imagination.
You gave us all of this and now you are gone, knowing and trusting that we are ready to face the world on our own.
To face it without faltering and leaving us with a sense that if we do, you are still around to catch us if we fall.
We are here ttoday because of you and no one can take you away from us.

Why!


Why would I make you a part of my life, if I didn't want you in it.
Why would I want to spend time with you, if it wasn't worth it.
Why would I share my dream with you, if I didn't think you would believe in it.
Why would I tell you that I miss you, if I didn't really feel it.
Why would I tell you that I love you if I didn't really mean it.

The anatomy of grief


We all deal with it in different ways. Some become cold and hard and shun the world around them, somehow blaming it for what has happened. A defensive shield goes up and shuts every other person out, and a fall into a deep dark whirlpool that seems endless and unrelenting follows. It's a darkness that you don't even want to get out of because it's safer to be in there than to face the world. Silence goes from being deafening to feeling like a warm blanket that shelters you against the cold dreary world outside. A cocoon of protection away from all the turmoil and madness. On the other side there are those of us who take shelter in denial. This denial can take many forms . One can deny the occurence of the event, very juvenile. To deny the event has any effect on ones life is another way. A little less juvenile but still quite adolescent. And finally one just denies the depth of grief that just hit them like a runaway train. To hide behind a smile is very hard but sometimes its the only thing a person can do. You have given yourself the responsibility of holding everyone together. Some say you don't need to, others, you wish they would say that. You try to smile for others but in the deep dark of night, the house of cards you've built falls apart and the cold sets in.

Chainlink


Why am the one sitting here alone,
just wishing you would come back home.
Tell me why I'm the one who starts to cry,
everytime you just up and say goodbye.
Like two ships, passing in the night,
We're still running from the only thing that feels so right.
Time and distance can't hurt you and me, this I positively know,
But my heart shatters every time I watch you go.
This time its my turn to leave,
But for our bond, I do not grieve.
It's one that has stood the tests of time,
For I have no doubt of any kind,
That for all eternity, I am yours and you are mine..... 

Change


At 5 you meet your best friend and the rest of the world ceases to exist, 

At 10 you love your family and you believe that is enough for you to subsist, 

At 15 you dream of fairytales come true and your perfect prince charming,

At 16 you "fall in love" and mother gives you a warning,

At 18 you think you've found the love of your life,

At 19 you think you'll make it , no matter the struggle or strife,

At 21 you "know'' you're meant to be his wife,

At 23 you wonder, "whatever went so wrong?",

At 25 you realise you can't tolerate his nonsense all eternity long,

At 27 you start to see,"I should be with someone who just lets me be me............