Sunday, July 9, 2017

Shallow Words leave Deeper Wounds

                                               A few years ago I had written a piece about the sanctity of Profanities and how their misuse and over use was just diluting their potency.
                                               Now 8 years down the line, the same seems to be coming true of the sweet sentimental phrases that have been used over the years to express sincere and heartfelt emotions.
                                              'I believe in you', ' You are like Sunshine', 'I Love You','You are my rock'. These are phrases it took a depth of emotion to say to a person. One simply did not toss them around like a string of words that formed a spider's web of empty flattery with an ulterior motive behind it.
                                                When you told someone you were proud of them, you meant it. When you told them you would always be there for them, you were, no matter what the time of day or situation before you.
                                                 And now? With words becoming mere characters on an interface, they've been rendered flimsy, trivial and easily swept off the deck once the immediate acquisition they were aimed at is achieved.
                                                 Even a phrase as 'Nonchalant' as Happy Birthday or Happy Anniversary is now tossed at people who are generous enough to include you in their celebrations despite the fact that during the rest of the year the 'tosser' does everything in their power to avoid the 'tossee' in the street.
                                                 Depth of character is not achieved by saying the words or imitating the actions. It is achieved by believing in them and acting in full sincerity. The surf on the ocean waves tickles your knees and then dissipates. The wave itself flows deep and soothes away the aches and pains ailing your body and spirit 

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Be You

An online retail website has come up with this tag line , and evoked some philosophical questions and arguments in my mind. I know I ramble at times but indulge me would you.

This phrase, "Be You", how does one go about interpreting it? First off, one must note that the statement is in the Imperative Tense i.e. it is giving it's readers an order, which, since they are being so nice and polite, they expect their viewers/readers to follow.

Now here's where my philosophical dilemma arises. If they want you to "Be You" now, since they've asked so sweetly, what were you being so far? Were you being someone else or did you not exist and are now brought into existence by this polite request. If it is the latter they refer to, do they deign to suggest that they are the reason for the existence of their viewers or consumers? If so, some could say they are trying to play God and create a religion of Shopping. This is a trend no longer far from reality. With the explosion of consumerism, Buying or shopping has become a way of life . And the consumers, always in search of something new as is inherent in human nature, flow with this trend without a moments rationalization.

On the other hand if the statement "Be You" is meant to indicate that we were being someone else so far, they may have a point. So many people today are so busy comparing themselves to others and trying so hard to mimic the ones they consider "Successful" or "Cool", they forget who they are themselves. Not only this , as we all know, a copy is never as good as the original, so in our pursuit to mimic the "successfuls" we end up as shadows , not only of the person we were imitating but also of our own true selves.

A physical issue one may have with us not being our selves, until we were ordered to do so, is, if we were not being our selves, and we were being someone else, who was being us ? Let me clarify this point. Science tells us that every body X is made up of energy that occupies a position in time and space. The time and space of X may overlap with the time and space of Y and the energy Y may replace X in it's original position as well. This does not mean that X has been destroyed, it just means that X now occupies a different position in time and space. In the same way, if we were no longer in our own position of self, it being occupied by the self of the person we were imitating, then in which position was our self . In simple terms, if we were being someone else, who was being us  ? Are we to understand that the catalyst called "A Pursuit of being Successful" has brought about a reaction that has transformed our own energy into the energy of the person we are imitating ? And now this imperative statement is meant to reverse this reaction?

On a more metaphysical note,  we take into consideration David Hume's theory that we are a bundle of all our experiences, that is we are a sum total of all our experiences. Now if , so far, we were not being our selves, and were being someone else, were the experiences we had our own or did they belong to the person we were imitating? If they were not our own since we were not being our selves, did we not experience anything in that time frame? Therefore, did we not exist? And how can we make peace with the idea that since these were experiences were those of someone else , that person somehow has experiences he or she has never experienced? But the best part about considering Hume's theory for the sake of this argument, is that if we believe that those were our experiences, we have always "Been Us" and we are no longer subject to this imperative statement. We can now feel free to mute this advertisement when it pops up, and enjoy 30 seconds of peaceful silence. 

Sunday, April 6, 2014

A Dedication to Excellence

You are where you wanted to be all those years ago.
Thank you for indulging our selfishness and staying with us, making us who we are today.
You were the corner stone of the lives of your children and grandchildren,the unending source of love that kept us strong and made us able to face anything this world can throw at us.
"Nao faças caso!" "Tu es forte".
Simple words that brought down the walls of fear, self doubt and weakness.
It built foundations of confidence, self worth and most of all daring.
The foundation that will help lead us to do things that, without her,would have eluded the boundaries of our imagination.
You gave us all of this and now you are gone, knowing and trusting that we are ready to face the world on our own.
To face it without faltering and leaving us with a sense that if we do, you are still around to catch us if we fall.
We are here ttoday because of you and no one can take you away from us.

Why!


Why would I make you a part of my life, if I didn't want you in it.
Why would I want to spend time with you, if it wasn't worth it.
Why would I share my dream with you, if I didn't think you would believe in it.
Why would I tell you that I miss you, if I didn't really feel it.
Why would I tell you that I love you if I didn't really mean it.

The anatomy of grief


We all deal with it in different ways. Some become cold and hard and shun the world around them, somehow blaming it for what has happened. A defensive shield goes up and shuts every other person out, and a fall into a deep dark whirlpool that seems endless and unrelenting follows. It's a darkness that you don't even want to get out of because it's safer to be in there than to face the world. Silence goes from being deafening to feeling like a warm blanket that shelters you against the cold dreary world outside. A cocoon of protection away from all the turmoil and madness. On the other side there are those of us who take shelter in denial. This denial can take many forms . One can deny the occurence of the event, very juvenile. To deny the event has any effect on ones life is another way. A little less juvenile but still quite adolescent. And finally one just denies the depth of grief that just hit them like a runaway train. To hide behind a smile is very hard but sometimes its the only thing a person can do. You have given yourself the responsibility of holding everyone together. Some say you don't need to, others, you wish they would say that. You try to smile for others but in the deep dark of night, the house of cards you've built falls apart and the cold sets in.

Chainlink


Why am the one sitting here alone,
just wishing you would come back home.
Tell me why I'm the one who starts to cry,
everytime you just up and say goodbye.
Like two ships, passing in the night,
We're still running from the only thing that feels so right.
Time and distance can't hurt you and me, this I positively know,
But my heart shatters every time I watch you go.
This time its my turn to leave,
But for our bond, I do not grieve.
It's one that has stood the tests of time,
For I have no doubt of any kind,
That for all eternity, I am yours and you are mine..... 

Change


At 5 you meet your best friend and the rest of the world ceases to exist, 

At 10 you love your family and you believe that is enough for you to subsist, 

At 15 you dream of fairytales come true and your perfect prince charming,

At 16 you "fall in love" and mother gives you a warning,

At 18 you think you've found the love of your life,

At 19 you think you'll make it , no matter the struggle or strife,

At 21 you "know'' you're meant to be his wife,

At 23 you wonder, "whatever went so wrong?",

At 25 you realise you can't tolerate his nonsense all eternity long,

At 27 you start to see,"I should be with someone who just lets me be me............